People often associate objects of utility, necessity, and luxury like gadgets with materialistic aspects of human life. Fair enough, I would say as these objects appear to be of little or no value emotionally and or metaphysically (at least on the surface). However, if you glance deeper with a patient mindset you'll understand that it's contextual and heartening to see a person's deepest and strongest emotions associated with a gadget or gadgets. I used to be one of those people who would often undermine the existence of gadgets and laugh it off! But, today I realize that losing a gadget you spent weeks and months trying to incorporate and welcome in your life is as grieving as losing a family member through death.
To the ones going through this- you might agree/disagree with me here, but I would still share my perspective and the death of my child whom I bought after 4 years of enduring a heartless but durable phone.
Perhaps, somebody needed you more than I did. There must be something good beyond whatever happened last night (the eternal optimist) and I know that I will move on and try to get accustomed to living without you. Nevertheless, your death implies that I failed as a person. I couldn't save you which suggests that maybe you are going to be better off sans me.
Yes, I will miss the so called materialistic benefits and privileges which you offered me, unlimited fast speed internet, the highest resolution camera on the planet, the dash charging (the remnant is still there to torture me with your loss), the unlimited space, dozens of multimedia apps to choose from among others.
However, the aspects which sadden me the most is the memories that you helped me manufacture, the folder cover which reminds me of my favourite one's mobile cover - a co-incidence too trivial to be mentioned? The similar folder covers of our phones imply the inexplicable bond that we have culminated in three months. It further reflects the idea that we both complete each other's thoughts and sentences. Yes, we do! Despite being "too difficult" to handle at times, you are the best thing which has happened to me till date but I am sorry darling, I allowed a stranger to intrude our privacy and have an access to our intimate moments. Isn't it ironical that we had a tiff yesterday only over privacy and phone?
I wish I would have listened to you and not gone to Chai Story with you or at least boarded the previous metro without making you wait for a good 10 minutes, I wish! Perhaps, the things would have been different otherwise?
Yes, the money, time and energy invested on my baby does make me badly crave for her but it's the feelings which we shared with her, her ability to connect us from 1500 kms away, her sweet ways of helping us patch up after our silly fights, our late night conversations among others make me terribly miss her. It feels that I have lost a part of myself, but the brighter side is that I have you by my side now. I am fortunate and thankful to Goddess (I know you are an atheist but still!) that I still have you by side. Dushti, to have you by my side, I can even give up a hundred such phones, because you are the one who did add emotions to this materialistic object in my life. You did help and encourage me to welcome her in my life and in the process you also opened your arms and allowed me to be a part of your life and vice versa.
I think this pathetic incident which occurred last night is going to bring out the best in me, it will help me become a better, more responsible and a more conscious person and above all, I know that I should never ignore my instinct as well as the words of my darling. I feel that the connection that we share has been strengthened after this. This made me realize that I can manage to lose such phones (not that I should but for you, a thousand times over), the medium which brought us together but I won't be ready to lose you. I also realized how important you are for me now! (Don't worry, not going to propose you yet! :P) You can take as much time as you want but this incident made me realize what you mean to me. I am pretty sure about "us" now.
I will take time to move on, but just that I had to blurt this out of my system, the detoxification of the negative elements was a must. My phone was like any other gadget and materialistic possession, however, it's you who gave birth to this emotional materialism in me. Without you, the phone is meaningless, you filled it up with emotions and feelings.
P.S- I know that this piece has grammatical errors but then it is brutally honest and straight from the heart sans any editing (which is definitely not my forte) and trust me I am feeling so better after writing this down. Perhaps, I didn’t deserve to own such a prestigious phone as of now, maybe it was nature’s way to point out that I will only deserve it once I am self-sufficient enough to buy it out of my own hard-earned money. But I hope that I deserve you, the source if not the medium? I know that you hate me but I LOVE YOU DUSHTI! :* <3
